Christmas

Merry Christmas!  I know trees are coming down everywhere, but I'm a 12 Days of Christmas kind of girl, and this tree stays up till Epiphany.  In fact, I am such a believer in not taking the tree down on the first day of Christmas that I buy our tree in mid December every year so it can last.  This also makes things exciting, as the pickings get slimmer and we try and find the sweet spot between making the tree last and not ending up with a Charlie Brown tree.  This year was more exciting.  We didn't make it to the tree lot until Dec. 20, but all's well that end's well.  Not only did we get the tree, but our tree man turned out to be quite the photographer!

You can also thank the tree man for our Christmas card this year, along with Sam's 24 hour turnaround on printing and Michael's speedy stamping abilities!  If only the tree delivery had gone as smoothly as the purchase....

No Very few limbs were harmed in the making of this production! 

Among other Christmas highlights was Michael's choice of gift.  He gave me two things.  A certain cheery red box with gold candelabra made an appearance, and my main gift spilled out.

Isn't it beautiful?  But wait, there's more...another little red box and....

Oh yes, yes he did.  A matching heart for our daughter to wear when she comes home.  We have been praying and preparing for this little girl in our hearts since last year.  We believe we just need to put one foot in front of the other, while remaining available to the will of God should that be for a surprise little boy.  This month, several things happened that we feel are confirmations we were seeking about this.  Michael bought this in response to those events.  Isn't he wonderful?  I think so too.

Do you think my mascara lasted?  Do you? 

God bless us, every one!

    

Fellowship!

Today a local church in town hosted their annual adoption and fostering fellowship.  We met some incredible, strong, spirit-filled men and women at all stages- just drawn to adoption, pursuing adoption, or home with their families and telling themselves they are "done"  ;-)  It was so so nice to connect with people with a good idea of such a major part of your life journey- without knowing much more than your name.  There is an instant bond there.  A breath of fresh air during all the waiting.  Sweet times!

Please remember us in your prayers- for wisdom and protection!  2013 is going to be a challenging year, although like so many challenging things very worthwhile!  There are some exciting times ahead.

Oh, and while you're lifting those wisdom and protection prayers heavenward, can we get bold and ask for the revelation of our Little Bit soon?  What a wonderful Christmas gift that would be! 

From today:

    

53 Days

53 days is what it takes to make me a mess, it seems!  We are 53 days from our log in date today, and my heart is rebelliously ignoring the fact that 53 days is really not that far into the anticipated wait for Little Bit's referral.  It is not as if we don't have several massive projects filling our front burners.  It isn't like there isn't a floor to vacuum, paperwork to complete, planning to do, weeds to annihilate, or laundry to dry minus a functional dryer (till the store locates our warranty info!).  My attention, though, is questionable toward the tasks at hand.  I refresh web pages and e-mail inboxes way too much.  I check the phone a lot more than I should.  I spend my evenings trying to be productive and realizing that my ability to be useful at this particular point in our waiting is...uh...kinda lame.

After years, we finally feel safe in preparing a bit for our new arrival.  There is a little bed and my family's rocking horse in a sunny nursery.  There are a ridiculous number of paint samples decorating the walls.  If I open the closet door, a high chair, car seat, pack and play, toys, lovies, bibs, and hooded towels are right there.  I love having the sweet heirlooms.  I'm pretty pleased with my "take it easy" and "buy it on sale" strategy.  Some days, though, toddler gear is just dangerous for me!  Can I share something a little weird for being in the C* adoption program?  I still truly wonder is this is really going to happen for us.  You could say our journey thus far as left some scars.  They fade every year, but there are a few tight ones I have to let the Healer stretch sometimes.  So a roomful like that can be a tricky proposition!

When it's daytime, I can work it out.  I channel that energy into appointments and those big projects I mentioned.  I have little wishful thoughts, but it's not too hard to remember to divert those thoughts into praise and prayers.  Nights are the pits!  At night, I am flat tired from pouring all that focus into other places.  Seeing precious photos from friends in adoption groups, celebrating as timelines move along, checking which child's needs or surgery should be added to the prayer list, praying that those with the ability would feel compelled to make children paper ready so they can be placed into families....These vital pieces of loving, blessing, and connecting can become prods and pokes.

God does have a plan for us and our child, and that plan is GOOD.  Even with this interminable waiting (and I know some of you have waited much longer), and some intense behind the scenes challenges, there is real assurance in rehearsing that truth.  Thank you so much for allowing me to post about this less-glowy subject.  Sometimes it's important to be honest...although it took me this long to decide to just post this rather than waiting to develop a different, more perky topic.  But being fully honest isn't just about expressing your feelings...you have to tell the truth to yourself too.  And the truth is that when you ask "Really?  Really, this is the plan?" or "WHEN, Lord?" (hello!)...You can still have a bedrock of peace and hope if you know and love the One who already knows your story and loves you.  Since He already knows about me being a mess this week and all, I guess I can lay this one down at those pierced feet, too (repeatedly if need be).  He is faithful!  

LID!

Pay no attention to the weeks and weeks between our Log In Date (LID) and today's post....!  Did that work?  Thought not.  I keep thinking we are up for a more peaceful period, where I will have time to compose something fun and cute to announce this next step.......Stop laughing!!!  We had three sets of houseguests, numerous minor repairs and one big one come up, and I have the "back to school special" (long bad cold).  Not that I teach in a school.  Or feel particularly special with this thing.  Anyway, we are officially eligible to be matched anytime now.  It could be several months, though, there's no way to know...I just know Who is in control.  In any case, the very next step is seeing our child face for the first time!!!

Have I mentioned the latest in our garden saga?  If you don't know, God's been using our garden to remind me of His provision, usually right when I'm about to need reminding.  Which is hilarious, if you know my gardening, um, abilities.  And I was about to need some serious reminding, although that story is for another day (and isn't very fun anyway).  There is a local furniture shop that sells tables with bright mosaic tile tops.  Since this spring, I've had my eye on one with gold and iris colored tiles.  But the last one left wasn't put together with its base and besides, patio furniture is not exactly in the budget during this process.  Knowing the colorful, unique pieces would be fun for my in-laws, we brought them shopping when they came to visit.  While we were there, Michael asked me if I wanted him to ask about the table top leaning against the brick wall.  I said yes, but there was no way they could sell it for less than $200.  I am usually pretty decent with pricing, so I just left to go explore another store in the cul de sac.  When I came out of an antiques shop and looked across the way, the table was missing.  Y'all, buying something he knows I'd never buy for myself is right up my husband's ally!  So I marched up to to car, feeling a little pale....Well, guess what?  The top had been shipped without its base, left sitting there useless for months, and Michael was told if he would take it away, it was ours!  On it's own, I might consider this a very lucky shopping trip, but in the context of my little garden story, my heart recognizes it as something more.  Trust me, the weird unexpected expenses and challenges are here too.  In fact, those of us in this process talk often about how the most bizarre things start to happen- in waves- when you set your mind to adopting...we know where it's from, and we know who wins.  And meanwhile, we serve a Lord who uses ordinary events to remind us of extraordinary truths!

"Because of the Lord's faithful love we do not perish, 
For His mercies never end.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your Faithfulness!"

Lamentations 3:21-23

Come on now, say it with me: DTC!!!

Eh-hem, this is an unofficial abbreviation used by adoptive parents to refer to the time all the documents C*a requires cross the ocean to where their child is.  It means we can hope to be officially "logged in" in the next few weeks, which is what makes us eligible in C*a.  This is a step for which people take creative photos involving those gorgeous letters.  Sometimes a DTC photo is all they post, and trust me, it's all they have to post.  I haven't found time to get that photo done yet in our post-hurricane catch-up schedules, but it was time to share so we can celebrate together! 

We received an e-mail from our agency saying our dossier was mailed to C*a on September 5.  This is God's work.  It was our original hope, but we had some problems with our paperchase.  This summer, when I looked at the expected timeline we were provided by our agency, I thought, "Well that does it.  We won't be DTC until November now."  On top of the disappointment was the probability that we would have to obtain duplicate documents, because they cannot be authenticated if over six months old.  Because everything from home study finalization to now has happened so quickly, we have literally gained back what time we lost.  It's so exciting in all that waiting when God reminds you that He is the one on the throne, and He loves to give good gifts!  

Next we wait for more exciting abbreviations: LID (Log In Date).  C*a has a week-long holiday in just a couple weeks here, kids.  Would greatly appreciate prayers for this step to be completed before that, if it's God's will, so that our agency can move to match us together!    

Next stop....authentications!

Good news....We have approval to adopt from C*a not even one week after we were fingerprinted!  That is lightning fast!  In all seriousness, if we continue at this pace, I believe it will be no less than a miracle.  Make no mistake, God has made our days of adversity as well as our days of prosperity, and believe you me we've not lacked on the adversity side!  There were some brutal times this summer.  But we have been able to persevere with the additional blessing of speed up to this point at least, which is a gift from Him alone. 

If anyone reading this is interested in adoption, you will need an army of prayer warriors.  Just put that first on your list starting out.  Get that squared away.  Adoption is one among many worthwhile pursuits that seems to infuriate the enemy.  It's a story he wants to tear up.  Don't be afraid- this battle has always belonged to the Lord.  But recognize that you, with God's help, are taking on regular skirmishes on behalf of a specific child.  Your job is to do the task in front of you and believe that God has the victory already, even when you haven't the faintest idea what to do.  We have only made it this far because of the prayers that go ahead of us on the trail.     

The next step is to have our dossier sealed/certified/authenticated at the various levels of U.S. government and at the C*ese consulate.  That normally takes about 2-3 weeks, and the goal after that is DTC (Dossier to C*a).  Our dossier is the collection of documents that C*a receives as an offically sealed packet, and it is the basis on which we become enrolled in the system over in C*a.  Press on!

Fingerprints!

We have our I800A biometric fingerprint date!  This is where we go into our consulate and get the biometric fingerprints that go with our I800A application.  It's not like a doctor appt- the USCIS assigns this date by mail, and it's important to keep the appt.  This means that we are hopeful for immigration approval to adopt from C*a in the next 6-8 weeks.  But y'all, pray that it's much faster, which is possible.  Due to the "expiration dates" for a couple of our documents, we need to get our paperwork authenticated by September, and that takes about 2-3 weeks after our I800-A approval. 

The good news is that we expect to see Little Bit's photo this year, and THAT means we can hope to hold Little Bit next spring/summer! 

Update

Hey y'all, our home study is finalized!  This is very exciting, because it was done weeks ahead of schedule, so we are pleasantly surprised.  After this, our agency can attach it to our immigration paperwork and we can being our I800A process (application to U.S. immigration to adopt an orphan from a Convention country).  Next week, we start our dossier preparation, too.  Our dossier is the large stack of documents we've been chasing down all these months, which goes in a highly notarized/ certified/ authenticated packet to C*a.  This is what C*a uses to review and process families for adoption, and we hope to have it in their hands this fall!

Happy Independence Day!

For the Fourth of July, I posted a John Adams quote elsewhere:

"It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solomn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty.  It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires, and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this time forward forever more.  You will think me transported with Enthusiam, but I am not.  I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure that it will cost Us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States.  Yet through all the Gloom I can see the Rays of ravishing Light and Glory.  I can see the End is more than worth all the Means.  And that Posterity will tyumph in the days Transaction, even altho We should rue it, which I trust in God We shall not."

-John Adams in a letter to Abigail, July 3, 1776

Ehem, perhaps I should have been more specific.  Games that do not involve random teenagers shooting off leftover fireworks in our neighbor's backyard.  Bonfires that have no capacity to start on my roof or in my home.  Illuminations that do not wake us at 2am, terrify the dog, and startle our more elderly neighbors.  Thank you.  Let's try this again:

"Everything in life should be done with reflection." -John Adams

In other news, we had a great BBQ courtesy of Granddaddy.  It's been years since we did it just exactly this way, at the grandparents house, with the decorations, the picnics, the music, the non-stop hum of conversation, the full den, and the all-important blackened hot dogs!  It was fun.  And nostalgic.  These are times I can't wait to share with our child.  They are also the times I wish we could give our family that satisfied joy that comes with having small children playing nearby.  It has been several years since toddlers invaded Grandmamma's pantry.  I firmly believe little fingers testing the piano are essential to rounding out a party.  Little one, the whole family is so excited to meet you!         

On Coupons, Lists, and Other Endeavors of Limited Usefulness

One of the things I do when I'm waiting is I make lists to organize for when the waiting is over.  Lately I've been trying to come up with a list of items we can stash to give us a break the first month or so home.  I coupon moderately for a working girl, and although I've never stockpiled, it's tempting.  When I say stockpiling, I don't mean the TLC Extreme Couponing kind.  Most stockpilers use coupons when the store has sales or offers other incentives, and then only buy as much as they need to make it to the next sale cycle.  And they don't spend extra on "deals" within their weekly budget- that kind of defeats the purpose!  With the aim being to take a shopping break when we are jet-lagged and learning our first baby...who is, oh, a toddler with his or her own ideas, I have come up with exactly two categories: personal care items for the grown-ups and baby wipes.

This is this thing: In my own way In a real way, I'm expecting, and I have the same nesting feelings I always thought I'd feel.  But, y'all, in adoption, nesting is hard!  Before adoption, I took for granted ideas such as:

1.  Our child will fit into a relatively predictable clothing size (I said relatively!).
2.  Our child will need diapers.  I will have an idea of the size diapers I will need.
3.  I know what our child will need for feeding.
4.  I know our child's developmental stage and what toys he or she will probably like.
5.  Our child will need nursery furniture.

The reality is, we don't know what size clothing we'll need.  It depends on the age, the medical issues, and the uniqueness of our child.  We don't know what season we will travel in, and of course we don't therefore know what seasons we will be transitioning through clothing sizes.  Our child may be in diapers, potty trained, somewhere in between, or maybe even used to having split pants.  Our child may be on formula we have access to (prepared per instructions or modified), formula we don't have access to...all the way to to eating table foods.  So no point buying formula in advance.  We may need bottles, special bottles/feeding supplies, sippie cups, cups...the list goes on.  Toys- let's not even go there!  Where sleeping is concerned, we may need a crib, or just a toddler bed.

And you know what?  I don't get a solid answer here.  I can make a list of items to prepare, but I don't get to assume I've got it covered.  Just in case I thought I had a shred of control over this.  Just in case.

June's Progress

What we've done in June:
Finshed our home study visits
Begun our I800A (US immigration's permission to adopt from C*a)

What's the next step:
Wait for our home study report to be completed
Attach it to our I800A paperwork and mail it off
Wait for our biometric fingerprint appointments, and ultimately, our approval from immigration

It feels good to be on our way!

Toddler Stuffics Anonymous

So....My name is Elizabeth, and I am addicted to toddler stuff.  I'm a therapeutic shopper by nature.  Okay, fine, a couponing cheapie but a shopper nevertheless, and I have had all this baby shopping and nesting bottled up for 5 or 6 years....Okay , fine, maybe add a couple decades to that estimate!  My mother in law has got me figured.  During a wonderful trip to Arizona, she was trying to make us let her buy breakfast (US Egg protein pankcakes- y'all, not to be believed!), and she threw in "put it in your baby fund"...and I dropped it like a hot potato.  Clammed up.  It's a disorder.  Everything now is either a buy instinct for our little one, or a total scrooge instinct because every other purchase is as if I'm taking away from this adoption.  I know, I really need a gray area!  To complicate matters, I do also the Dave Ramsey voice in my head.  Cable?  Cut it, focus on the goal.  Eating out?  Over, focus!  Cute clothes on unbelieveable clearance sale?  Weeallll.....okay okay only if they are supremely pack-able and cool for C*a travel!  My name is Elizabeth, and I am addicted to toddler stuff.  It has been 6 days since my last toddler stuff purchase.  Anybody know where to find really precious, gender-neutral design toddler bedding?   

Goodness

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows- this is God, whose dwelling is holy.  God places the lonely in families.       -Psalms 68:5-6

Lord, You are our child’s Father. Though we will forget time after time, it is not a government, or an individual, or a set of rules, but it is You who places children with their intended families.  We praise You for giving us this assurance!

You are the helper of the fatherless.  Lord, you have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.                -Psalms 10:14, 17-18

Even though we cannot be there, You are there.  We can trust this little one into Your capable care while we wait.  You are our child’s Helper and Heart-preparer.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plan to give you a hope and a future."     -Jeremiah 29:11

You have plans for us and for our child, and those plans are good.  Not expected, not predictable, not without risk....good! 

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.       -James 1:27

You press us into persistence and remind us of the bigger picture beyond our immediate awareness. 

For as many are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.  For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”     -Romans 8:14-16

Thank you, Father, for adopting us, and for making it clear that we are not Your “adopted children.”  We are simply Your children. 

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.   Galations 4:4-6

You sent you Son to redeem us, at such a cost, and you deem it all well worth having done….because now we are Your children.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.            -John 14:18

Love, we are coming, with your heavenly Father’s help!

A Well-Watered Garden

Well...it's been an interesting month, but I'm holding off discussing much adoption-related specifics until things feel more on their way.  But on the way they are.  I just have a hard time believe we are really here, even though it feels like a long-awaited milestone for our family.   

You know how God can surprise you sometimes?  Knowing He is there, loving us, and giving us the ability to work, I've been working.  Hard.  Too hard.  I hit my limit, and I cannot do more and still do my "second job" (the paperwork chase).  Under those circumstances, God stepped in with a wonderful surprise.  We bought our house, with it's plain little backyard last year.  Our house needed some work (don't they always?), and I've longed for some private, backyard space I actually want to sit in.  My husband and I would often have coffee on the balcony of our apartment, a relaxing ritual we had adopted.  But an all-grass backyard of relatively small size, with a gaw-geous wooden privacy fence to stare at, didn't beckon us out much.  But who cares, right?  We're focused on bringing our child home!  Well, it seems someone (me) is supposed to be trusting Someone else for our practical and our emotional needs. 

Our parents are part of gardening circles, and work they did for a local flower breeder was recently rewarded with a great, crazy abundant gift.  When my mom tried to purchase flowers on my behalf at a local flower show, he stopped her saying "Oh, no you don't."  This man dug up 100 bulbs for me- no charge!  Wow.  But that could be attributed to my parents' hard work, right?  Okay, so you need more?

Well, what if we start digging...and hit something hard.  Rats, what now?  A brick.  Ugh, looks like nothing's as easy as you think.  Another brick....the whole area was apparently a storage area for extra bricks from the house at one time.  Well, let's get to it.  Three....four....ten....twelve....twenty....just enough bricks to edge all the garden areas!  Down to the half bricks.  Exactly, not one extra, not one missing.  Buried treasure.  All told, hundreds upon hundreds in flowers and bricks to border them with.

A need I didn't know I had.

One beautiful garden!  

Doing good for my soul, refreshing me.
 
Even this He cares for. 

"The Lord will guide you continually,
and satisfy your soul in drought,
and strengthen your bones;
you shall be like a well-watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail."
Isaiah 58:11

Almost time...!

We are increasingly eager and yet anxious as our goal date for our first application draws near.  Will the home study go smoothly?  Will we be able to quickly gather our paperwork?  Is our special needs list wide enough, too wide, honest about our abilities and resources?  Can we really do this??  Like David, at night we will lay down our requests, and every morning we will look for the Lord's unfailing love.  We will not hold back for some feeling of perfect readiness or promise that "we've got this" (ha!)- God Himself is our preparation.  This is His work, and we will trust that all things are working together, that even now there is gathering strength for this adoption miracle.  Maybe by posting this I will remember it myself when I am anxious about the coming whirlwind of applications, paperchasing, and home study visits.

Our dear friends welcomed their second daughter into the world this weekend.  It's amazing to think that our child might be in the world this weekend, too.

         

New Year 2012!

Happy New Year!  Our last treatment is over, which became part of the confirmations we've received over time about adopting from C*a.  In January we met with our wonderful RE, who sat down with us and discussed several options.  We spent a couple of weeks talking and praying, revisiting a common theme of 2011...Having reached a fork in the road, where the next treatment would be more extensive and impede adoption, what path would we take?  Before, we had said we would adopt, but here was where the rubber met the road.  We both knew within a week or so, and I love that we both knew!  So with God's help, we are Geauxing East!  Well, wouldn't it be nice if it were so easy, anyway?  This is often described as a super-long pregnancy- a hurry-up-and-wait time when you feel expectant, excited, anxious, peaceful, stressful, joyful.... 
It has to be said: God met us at ground zero and gently demanded even this stronghold, until our tenderly laid plans were placed- and finally left!- in His trustworthy hands.  Our plans were too small.       

It will be a busy year- a fun year I hope, since we are full steam ahead!  And my sister, the youngest, is engaged....so there will be a wedding, too!